


Barely Breathing

by mle_hung123



Category: Free!
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 16:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2355152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mle_hung123/pseuds/mle_hung123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin doesn't have to be underwater to know he's drowning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Barely Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTIONED SELF HARM
> 
> A/N: this is actually implied MakoRin in my min but technically it can be rin/anything

There was nothing more Rin wanted than to go to the Olympics.

Being able to qualify in such an elite competition would mean that he was the best of the best. That he would be looked up to, that he would be a prime example of perfection.

There once was a period when getting best times in his events etched a huge smile on Rin’s face. His heart would beat just a little bit faster when seeing the bright digital numbers displayed on the scoreboard, laughter leaving him before playfully punching the water though his muscles ached with lactic acid.

Rin could barely remember when he was simply satisfied with just that.

All that was filled in his mind were horrible, horrible memories of heartaches and eyes brimming with tears desperately hidden from his friends and teammates. Rin only seemed to remember the long nights of sitting in a corner with hands pressed against the sides of his head, eyes squeezed shut and his chewed finger tips digging into his palms so hard that it would leave imprints and bruises that were more than just skin deep.

And all Rin would be able to tell himself was that _he was never going to get better._

With every second that Rin cut off, it was as if everybody else could be twice, three times as fast with ease.

_You are never going to be good enough._

Since when was his own shattered mind his own worst adversary…?

It wasn’t long before Rin’s mind gradually began to create and accept the darkest images – images of being hunched over the bathroom counter with a ruptured heart demolished ten times over, bleeding into the sink and across the faucet and down the cabinets that Rin ached to open in order to guiltily access the spare razors that lay hidden in their boxes.

_After all, you deserve to feel this pain. You’re no good in the water anyways._

It had gotten to a point where Rin was festering with more than just physical wounds that burned with the power of unspoken insults to himself and emotions that made him never want to feel ever again. Rin’s heart didn’t just beat quickly because of a good race anymore. No, it beat because he was beginning to _panic_ and he wasn’t sure if he could handle the pain anymore.

But when warm, long arms wound around Rin’s body and pulled him close to a familiar scent of chlorine and something else that strangely made him stop breathing, his thoughts rushing to a halt. Blinking, dumbfounded, it was in that one second of silence that Rin heard the faint sound of a shaky inhale.

_You’ll be fine. You’ll be fine, Rin. Rin you’ll be okay._

And Rin took a slow breath.

_We love you okay?_

It was moments like those when Rin would finally implode, tears streaming down reddened cheeks and clutching the fabric of well worn school uniform so tightly his knuckles would go white. Rin’s shoulders would slump out of relief and exhaustion before silently snuggling into his broad chest.

It was moments like those where Rin could breathe.

And it was moments like those where he realized that he didn’t need to be perfect for anyone else who was watching him race. Rin was perfect for his friends and was loved for it, and that was enough to soothe his doubts.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: lmao I honestly don't remember writing something like this?? wow


End file.
